Where motherhood has taken you
The role of a mother can often be overwhelming, both in the amount of and the nature of the to-dos. It can be extremely challenging and boring at the same time. It can leave you feeling dissatisfied that things aren’t being completed, that you aren't doing a great job, which then affects your confidence to do other things. And it is so easy to say "once my children are out of this stage, I will…….", and postpone your own pursuits for so long that when you eventually get round to them, you have lost the confidence or the know-how or the energy.
What motherhood could look like
Acknowledge that motherhood is extraordinarily challenging and that even by doing the base requirements of mothering you are doing something extraordinary which means you can achieve other extraordinary things.
Find time to explore your 'me', pursue your passions and, as a result, lead a great, purposeful life and bring up strong, purposeful children. Passions can be anything, from creating amazing children, to running a beautiful home, to managing community theatre projects, to starting a business. Passions can make money. Obviously there are some stages of motherhood that are more demanding than others and some mothers face greater challenges than others but just an acceptance of these ideas can be empowering.
How you could get there
Living a life of purpose is one of the few things that brings real meaning to our lives. A few lucky people are born knowing their purpose or calling. For some mothers, motherhood is their calling. But for the majority, there is a sense of emptiness that we don’t understand (that question of “who is ‘me’?”) but could be filled by a purpose or passion. So try this:
- Accept that you might have to work hard to find your passion, i.e. it is not obvious to all of us straight away.
- Give the process some time.
- Read Deepak Chopra's "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" (it is a very short book).
- Think about 3 things:
- What am I good at?
- Ask your friends what they think your unique strengths are.
- Think openly (e.g. I am really good at talking to people) rather than in terms of job categories (I am good at being an accountant).
- Ignore any doubts like “That’s not a job” or “You can’t make money from that.” They are the thoughts that will stop you from living your passion.
- What do I love doing?
- Which articles in the newspaper do I turn to?
- What was I doing when I have been happiest?
- What topics move me or create an emotional response in me?
- What do I want my lifestyle to be?
- Imagine your perfect life – where you would live, how much you would work etc.
- What am I good at?
- The interception point of a, b and c above is where your passion can lie. There are obviously other ways to find your passion and even if this process doesn't work for you immediately, it will give you a good kick-start on your journey.